8 Reasons Why I Love L Lawliet
by Darksabre35
Summary: The title is quite self-explanatory, but this is a rather convoluted analysis of L Lawliet's mysterious character based on what I like about him. Fan-girling mixed with some psychological/philosophical rambling. I hope all you L-lovers out there enjoy this!


**8 Reasons Why I Love L Lawliet **_**or **_**An Extremely Convoluted Analysis of L Lawliet's Character Based on What I Love About Him**

**1—His Appearance **_**or **_**His Unorthodox Attractiveness **

Okay, I know some people would probably think I'm insane, thinking that L, the pale, crouched detective with permanent dark circles under his eyes is _attractive_ while Calvin Klein model Light Yagami is in the room, but hear me out. I have a little…_thing_ for those thin, pale types with long black hair, and if L doesn't fit that bill to a 'T,' then I am a shinigami. L reminds me of a sapling when he's standing up—all height and no breadth, and the Death Note wiki itself states that L is about 5'8" and weighs only 110 pounds. Admittedly, I don't think that's very realistic ( if a 5'8" female weighed 115 pounds she would be considered underweight and boys almost _always _weigh more than girls at the same height), but no matter, I_ like_ L's appearance. There's something about him that sometimes reminds me of a ghost, slipping in and out of corners unseen, unheard, and unnoticed.

I don't think all male protagonists have to be muscle-men with bulging biceps and six-packs. It's nice to see a 'heroic' male character that deviates from the 'normal' when it comes to appearance; the average male hero is highly attractive and very muscular…and L is not. L is supposed to be around 24-25 years old, but he looks like a 16 year old male who still has a LOT of filling out to do, and I like that. Unorthodox and unusual is nice sometimes. And, just to defend L from those who might think he is "weak" because he's built like a stick, some of his actions in the anime show he's far from weak physically (more on that later)…that thin form conceals some nice muscle tone we don't really see.

As for the skin tone…again, L is not the stereotypical hero; he doesn't have a surfer-tan, instead he's so pale he's almost white. One thing I do have slight problems with in the anime is that while it takes place in Japan and all the main characters are Japanese…NONE of them look Japanese. Instead, they look like your average run-of-the-mill Caucasians, who all happen to have black hair and Japanese names. Save for the occasional Japanese letters we see in texts and on computer screens, the anime could very well be taking place in New York City. Realism issues aside, we never really find out L's actual nationality (though he does say he lived in England for 5 years so perhaps we can assume he's British), so we don't really have anything to go off of regarding his ethnicity, but he's Caucasian, based on his appearance. My guess is that he's naturally pale, and since he spends all of his time holed up in hotel rooms solving cases, he never gets to go out to work on his tan. Again, he's not the stereotypical hero, rushing around kicking ass to save everyone; he saves people from inside his hotel rooms, using his amazing intelligence, which makes him unusual. Truth be told, I like his skin tone less for the actual physical trait and more for what it implies about him…he uses his brains rather than his body to fight his battles.

His eyes are another noticeable trait-they are black, and he has permanent black circles under his eyes from not sleeping enough. In fact, we _never_ actually see L lie down on a bed or sleep in the anime, but since he functions up until the time he is killed, we can assume he _does_ sleep sometimes. Insomnia is a really bad thing, but I like to think that part of L's insomnia arises from the fact that his mind is so used to working hard that it has a hard time shutting down long enough for him to sleep, and I find that oddly alluring. A hard-working mind is something that I like. Also, L's eyes do not show that much emotion…or rather, you have to LEARN to read L's eyes. When you get a close-up of Light Yagami's eyes, you can usually get a good feel for what he's thinking, but not so with L. His eyes are black, so his pupils don't show, and that somehow removes a lot of the emotion we might otherwise see more easily. Learning to read those black eyes to see what he's actually feeling is an art…and people who are hard to read can be fun to learn to get to know. Also, L's expression is mostly blank more often than not. This, I believe, is a defense mechanism he has built up over the years. One of the very first things anyone involved in intelligence work has to learn is how to keep a 'poker face' and L has that art down pat. He cannot afford to let anyone see what he's actually feeling, so he keeps a blank face.

His languid and disheveled appearance also causes others to underestimate him, which is a good thing. Few tricks work better than forcing others to underestimate you, and we see L pull that off quite well at least once. L hides in more ways than one behind his façade, and I enjoy exploring characters that hide their true selves. Open books are nice, but they aren't much fun to read, are they? Lastly, L's clothes. Not ONCE do we see L wear anything but blue jean pants and a long-sleeved white shirt, so his clothes are, in a way, part of his person in a way that most people's clothes are not. It's like they are part of his skin, and it leaves me wondering: does L actually just love his outfit so much that he never changes it (I imagine he has many pairs of that same type of jeans and shirt), or has he just gotten so used to it that he doesn't bother to change it anymore? Or does he just not care? Personally, I would bet on the third. L has so many things on his mind, clothes are not important to him anymore, and his current outfit is no doubt comfortable, so he just keeps it. In all honesty, the reason I like L's appearance so much is not just because I find it cute, but because it reveals things about him to the viewer if he or she is willing to think about them deeply enough. So all things considered…stature, skin, appearance, and eyes…the point of all these sentences is to say that I find L attractive in an unorthodox way, and that is…well, that.

**2—His Quirks**_** or **_**His Incredibly Odd (and Slightly Unhealthy but Nonetheless Endearing) Habits **

Oh…L's quirks, his adorable quirks. These are some of the very first things you notice about him, apart from his odd physical appearance. So without further ado, I begin. First, L does NOT sit. I know it sounds weird, but not once do we ever see him sit properly…feet on the floor, back against the chair, thighs on the bottom of the seat. Instead, he crouches or squats whenever he has to use a chair, and one of the police officers goes so far as to say he saw him SLEEP in that position. L claims that his intelligence reduces by 40% whenever he sits properly, and it adds to his charm, in my opinion. I mean, how many people do you see whose intelligence depends on their posture? I have a strong feeling that there is a reason why L's posture is the way it is, but since L remains a mystery character for most of the anime as far as past, parents, etc. goes, we never find out what has folded him into a permanent crouch. Perhaps the weight of his cases and the feeling that he is the last person everyone in the world turns to for justice when no one else can solve these impossible cases? Perhaps a childhood habit he never kicked or bothered to try to kick?

The crouch is still present when he walks; L walks with a definite stoop of sorts, much like the ones you see on people who are doing their best to disappear, who do not want to be noticed by the rest of the world. I get the impression that L hates being amongst crowds and prefers to remain inside his 'world' (which consists of hotel rooms and cases and computers with which he communicates to the outside world); he has no doubt been ridiculed at once point or another in his life for his strange appearance and maybe that stoop (which indicates a desire that the person does not want to be there and does not wish to be noticed) is a leftover vestige of when ridicule still affected him (more on why I think L doesn't care what people think of him…or pretends not to later). So, again, I think the way L stands and walks could be a clue into his past.

Let me tell you right now that I'm usually a complete NITPICK when it comes to major character's pasts; it bugs me to no end when an author just throws down a character and acts as if they fell from the sky, but for L, having no past works, for some reason. It allows me to invent what I want about him based on what I DO know, and his quirks give amazing insight into his personality and past. Next on the list of quirks is one that still has fans scratching their heads…L's apparent inability to eat anything other than sweets. I'm not kidding; not ONCE do we ever see him eat normal food like salad, pizza, pasta, rice or anything. The only things we see him drink are tea and coffee that have an obscene amount of sugar in them, and he eats only sweets…sugar-covered fruit, candies, chocolates, cookies, cake…etc. And interestingly enough, he doesn't weigh 300 pounds. He tells Misa Amane that he can eat sweets non-stop without gaining weight because the brain burns an incredible amount of calories, and he uses his brain a great deal (more on L's amazing brain later), but I'm sure an incredible metabolism and maybe some secret work-out sessions we don't see are partly to blame for his ability to eat sugar nonstop and still stay skinny.

We never understand (or rather, we are never told) why L cannot eat anything other than sweets, but again, I think this quirk gives us insight into his personality. The truth of the matter is that L does not have anything that really makes him happy, or at least not anything that most of us would think gives pleasure. He does not seem to have any hobbies, he seems to have no family, no true friends or a romantic interest. He no doubt is comfortable financially, being a world-famous (though faceless) detective, but L does not seem to derive any happiness from money. He DOES seem to derive a certain satisfaction from solving cases, but still, he has none of the things that make the average man happy…except food. I think, in some ways, sweets are L's addiction. Eating sugar makes his taste buds happy, and he is addicted to the small happiness he gets from eating things that taste sweet. Without any other sources of true happiness in his life, L clings to the way sugar makes him feel in order to feel…human, to make sure he at least remembers what feeling happy is like…or what it is SUPPOSED to be like. Again, this quirk, the one of constant sugar consumption, gives us insight into L's character, into the human behind the emotionless face. The one who is in many ways so emotionally empty, so devoid of sources of happiness, that eating sugar is one of the few pleasures he can still enjoy.

L also has the habit of holding things between only his thumb and forefinger. I reason that this is out of caution, not wanting to leave his fingerprints on anything (or rather, too many fingerprints on anything) and also an offshoot of his inherent cautiousness, which sometimes borders on healthy paranoia. He also has a habit of arranging and stacking things (usually his food items) very carefully. This too, I think is borne of his inherent attention to details; as usual, this quirk also reveals something about his personality. L also has a rather endearing habit of biting his thumb when he's thinking deeply about something, and I would bet quite a bit he was a thumb-sucker when he was little. The thumb-biting is oddly…childish, and in my biased opinion, it shows L's humanity much like the sugar addiction does, shows that somewhere inside the super-detective there's probably still a little boy who sucks his thumb as a weird form of comfort when the other kids call him a 'freak.' Much like with his appearance, I love L's quirks not just because I find them endearing (if somewhat unhealthy in the case of the sugar thing) but because they reveal things about his character to me.

**3—His Intelligence **_**or **_**His Marvelously High IQ**

Let me say this once and for all: I FIND INTELLIGENT GUYS *EXTREMELY* ATTRACTIVE. …L is so smart it is almost freaky; ergo, I find L attractive. He is able to deduce after only a few Kira killings that Kira needs a face and a name to kill, and later on he figures out within moments that the Second Kira needs only a face to kill. He is also able to tell that Light Yagami somehow stopped being Kira, that he used to be Kira, and that now his killing power has passed on to another person. He outsmarts Light moments before Light would have succeeded in killing him by snitching Misa Amane's cell phone and having her arrested. He even suspects that the rules Light Yagami wrote in his Death Note are fakes and plans to test them; unfortunately he never gets to because Light murders him before he can test his theory.

Time and again L demonstrates his incredible intelligence; again and again even his wildest theories are proven to be completely correct. As the best detective in the world, L's job ultimately depends on his mental aptitude, his ability to figure out who the culprits are when no one else can. All things considered, L's intelligence is probably his most noticeable trait, and I like that. Let's admit it, a lot of male characters are appreciated more for their physical prowess (both in combat and in the bedroom) than their intelligence, which I think is kind of sad. Since when did being scholarly make a man "weak" or "effeminate"? (Whether this is an indication that the world is in some ways getting dumber in general or not I don't know; that's a discussion for another time). But here we have a male character whose true strength lies not in his body, but in his brain, and that makes L stand out from the pack in a very special way. Not only do I find L's intelligence sexy, I like the way it makes him stand out from the other "badass" run-of-the-mill heroes.

**4—His Capability in Physical Combat **_**or **_**His Badass-ness **_**or **_**His Incredible Ability to Kick Light Yagami in the Face and Look Hot While Doing It **

And lest we begin to think that L is capable of only using his brain to fight his battles…let me put the suspicions that L is a physically weak genius to rest. On three occasions we see that when it comes to physical stuff, L is no slouch, though his appearance and lifestyle would suggest otherwise. The first time we see L's hidden physical prowess is during a tennis match with Light Yagami, who is a multiple-time Junior Championship winner. As it turns out, however, L is also a former Junior Champion, and the match is quite intense, with Light winning in the end because L loses on purpose to manipulate Light (again an indication of his intelligence).

The second time is that famous incident when the Anime Gods opened the heavens and gave all the fan-boys and fan-girls the scene they had been praying for: a physical altercation between L and Light. Light, frustrated by L's languidness and continuous accusations that Light is Kira, punches the detective in the face and sends him flying across the room (since the two are handcuffed together, Light takes a tumble as well). L calmly says "an eye for an eye, my friend" and proceeds to kick Yagami in the face, looking totally badass (and incredibly hot!) while doing it, and the two go flying across the room again. Light punches L again; L retaliates with another "sucker kick" after remarking that he is "a lot stronger that I look." So not only is L a good tennis player, he's pretty good with martial arts. I would have loved to see him give Light the pounding he deserves; unfortunately Matsuda, the young but sort of naïve cop, gives L a very stupid phone call before things can get any worse. Later on in the anime, we again see Light punch L and L retaliates by kicking Light in the face AGAIN…enough said. So yes, when forced to it, L can hold his own in a physical fight, and that's always nice in a guy, right?

**5—His Persistence **_**or **_**His Ability to Stick With the Theory He Knows Is Right No Matter What **

Well, this is something that all major detectives must have…a willingness and ability to keep working on a case no matter how impossible to solve it seems. L has solved some of the most difficult cases in the world, but the Kira case was truly a different matter, a case unlike any he had ever solved before. And yet, he refused to give up and back off at any point, even when Kira threatened his life multiple times. His cases are really L's only purpose in life, and he refuses to give up on any of them once he has gotten started on it.

Also, L refuses to change his theories or assumptions for anyone. There is definitely a negative aspect of that stubbornness, because sometimes others are right and you are wrong, but there are times when you just have to go with your gut instinct. L KNOWS deep down inside that Light is Kira, and he refuses to be persuaded otherwise, even though most of Light's behavior would indicate that he is NOT Kira. It takes incredible strength to stick with what you know to be true when other people are saying it must be false, and to keep on trying to solve a puzzle that seems to have no solution in sight, and L has that strength of mind and spirit, which I find both fascinating and…hot. It makes me wonder what has made him so persistent and strong-willed, perhaps a mixture of nature and training? And maybe some pride…he refuses to give up because he can't bear to think he is a quitter…or for others to think he is a quitter.

**6—His Confidence **_**or **_**Perhaps More Accurately, His Ability to Ignore What People Think of Him**

Now, here is one thing about L that I'm really unsure about. He is incredibly odd and people always see that (and call him out on it, such as when he gave a speech at To-Oh University), but he seems not to care. That makes me wonder: is he so comfortable in his own skin and confident in himself that he does not care what other people think of him, or is he just insanely good at hiding the fact that he does feel…weird, feel that he doesn't belong? Does it hurt him that he can't be like other people? His reclusiveness, his refusal to really interact with the outside world (he communicates with the police forces and intelligence agents he works with largely through a computer screen) might indicate that he doesn't like being around people, but being who he is that could simply be for security reasons. He appears completely indifferent to the weird looks people give him and the gossiping that he endures when he does go out, and yet, in one scene where he waves to Light Yagami (who is his "friend") in public, he looks embarrassed almost immediately afterward and asks "Was that all right?". He realizes he looks weird and also understands Light might not want to be associated with him in public.

And yet, on other occasions, he carries on with his oddities and quirks, not seeming to care at all that others find him weird. He does not attempt to change who he is for anyone, which I find refreshing. Too many people are crowd-pleasers who are willing to twist themselves into caricatures to please the popular people, but L is NOT like that. Going off most of what he does, it would seem that L just couldn't care less what others in general think of him. In my opinion, I think he might not care what those he doesn't know or respect think of him, but he DOES care what those he respects think of him, and in a weird way, I think he respects Light Yagami, for his intelligence and intellect if nothing else.

**7—His Humanity**

L, most of the time, doesn't display much emotion but on the occasions when he does…it's pretty amazing. The first instance which stands out clearly to me is when he tells Light Yagami it would be a problem if he was Kira, because he is his 'first friend ever.' That was one of the few moments when his normally-blank eyes actually displayed emotion, and he looked forlorn, and dare I say it, horrified (because something in him knows Light is Kira)? Deep down inside, L is lonely, because no matter how absorbing and intriguing his cases are, they can never take the place of human companionship, and he is beginning to see Light as a sort of friend, probably largely due to the fact that Light Yagami is one of the few people who can match him in a game of deductive reasoning and raw intelligence. There is, of course, the delicious irony of the fact that L's only 'friend' is actually trying to kill him, but put that aside. This is the one time we see L admit his loneliness, his own need for friendship, and I found it pretty powerful. Yes, the world's greatest detective has a very human heart.

Another time we see L's human side is when he admits to Light Yagami (who has lost his memories of the Death Note and all related to it and is therefore acting human again—honestly, Light's a really nice guy without that damned book) that he is feeling depressed because the case isn't going forward the way he wants it to. (This takes place during the famous fight scene). In that scene we see how much L becomes invested in his cases, and how much he craves being able to solve each one accurately. He becomes so attached to his cases, so confident in his own deductions, that when they don't go the way he wants, he actually becomes rather sad. This goes to show how emotionally invested L gets in his work, and also how failure affects him—he doesn't take it that well. There is, of course, also the fact that he KNOWS Light is Kira but doesn't have enough evidence to convict him and figure out how Kira kills people. Yet another instance in which we see L's humanity is when Misa Amane, Light's girlfriend, kisses L on the cheek. The detective actually looks shocked, touches his cheek, and tells Misa he could fall for her. (I've enjoyed the occasional Misa/L crack-ship fic, but honestly L deserves a girl with a higher IQ that…infatuated idiot, but that's a story for another time). So…surprise, surprise, L actually isn't asexual; he has eyes like any other guy…and he wouldn't mind having some romantic companionship, but unfortunately his lifestyle really isn't conducive to that. I personally found the whole scene quite adorable.

And then, we have the scene in episode 25, where L asks Light whether has actually ever told the truth in his life. We get the distinct feeling that L is feeling melancholy throughout that scene (the rain and the church bells in the scene also add to the effect), and most fans agree that L knew that his death was approaching. Which makes me wonder: what made L sad about the prospect of dying? He certainly didn't seem AFRAID to die to me, just…sad. And all things considered, L had already accomplished more than many people would in several lifetimes at the time of his death. Was he sad because he would never get to finish solving the Kira case? Was he sad because he was thinking about all the things he'd never get to do: marry, raise a family, live a somewhat normal life with people who cared about him? Personally, I think so…I think he was thinking about all the things he would never have, and how things might have gone differently if he'd made different choices earlier in his life, or just been born someone else entirely.

I think he also felt sad about Light (whom he feels is Kira), feels sad that their friendship was never a true one, which it could have been if not for the Death Note….and perhaps sorry for him, knowing that he will eventually be caught and his end will not be a pleasant one. As for his 'truth question' to Light, whom he knows is possibly the best liar he has ever encountered, I think L was expressing his own desire for honesty and truth, for the transparency he has never been able to achieve. L, himself, is an excellent liar, and I think he is, at that point, tired of lying. He wants someone he can be honest with, and someone to be honest with him. He is tired of living a life of lies.

Another time we see L's human side is when, after he and Light come in completely drenched from the rain, he proceeds to wipe Light's feet. His motivations for this…well, we don't really know. The scene has frequently been compared to the biblical one where Jesus washes Judas's feet, but I don't really see much parallel between them. One fan I came across suggested that L was making his final appeal to Light's humanity, and I think that may have been part of L's reason for it. He does say that 'it's the least I can do to atone' which raises the question: what exactly is he trying to atone for? His life of lies? The times when he has broken laws and done things some might consider immoral, reasoning that the ends justify the means? We'll never really know.

We see L display emotion for the last time as he dies…in the arms of Light Yagami, who orchestrated his death. Light grins evilly as the light fades from L's eyes, and L realizes once and for all that Light is indeed Kira. And the look in L's eyes is one of utter and complete horror as he realizes he was right all along. What went through his mind in his last moments? Regret and anger that he couldn't solve the case in time to save his own life? Hope that his successors Near and Mello would finally mete out the justice he was unable to? Anger and grief over Watari's death…grief over his own loveless life? Perhaps all of these, perhaps none of them.

**8—His Moral Ambiguity **

It is no surprise that in a series like Death Note, which is pretty morally ambiguous about a LOT of things, the 'hero' of sorts is a pretty morally ambiguous. It is actually rather interesting that in Death Note, the protagonist (Light Yagami) can be considered the villain, while the antagonist (L Lawliet) can be considered the hero. Even then, things are not exactly clear…rather, they are grey. Light started out wanting to make the world a better place, and he DOES still want to make the world a better place even while he is doing all sorts of horrible things. Light develops a god complex and a psychopathic nature, believing that he is the one who determines what's right and what's wrong, and therefore is justified in eliminating anyone who stands in the way of his goals. This would make him the villain.

L, on the other hand, can be considered a hero because he wants to catch Kira, a mass murderer who has no qualms about killing anyone who stands in his way, but he isn't a strictly moral character either. He doesn't have any problems manipulating and torturing people in order to solve the case, and I get the impression he regularly does this in order to solve his cases. We also don't have a clear handle on exactly WHY he wants to catch Kira…does he just enjoy the mental challenge solving the Kira case presents? Does he not like the idea of someone having a killing power that he uses at will? Does he want to protect innocent people from Kira? (Because honestly, most of the people Kira killed were criminals who deserved their fate.) So in addition to being simply, well…fascinating, L Lawliet is a pretty ambiguous character as far as morals go. He is not the strictly 'moral' hero character who always tries to do what's good and right; he has no problem doing 'bad' things as long as the means seem to justify the ends.

Personally, I find 'grey' characters MUCH more fascinating than their strictly 'good' counterparts, so that's one of the reasons I like L so much. He is ambiguous. Even his reasons for becoming a detective are not made clear (but then, what about him is?). Is it just because he has the mental aptitude to figure out puzzles no one else can solve and enjoys solving seemingly unsolvable cases? Or does he feel that with his talents, he is somehow obligated to help the world by meting out justice when no one else can? With every insight we get into L, we uncover more mysteries and questions about him, and that, indeed, in the main reason I like him so much. He is a character that forces me to think, that forces me to psychoanalyze, and ask questions that I wouldn't otherwise.

* * *

_Author's Note- _So there you have it, 8 reasons why I love L Lawliet of Death Note, tied up with lots of psychological/philosophical rambling. He is definitely my favorite character in Death Note and actually my favorite anime character of all time (not as if I watch that much anime, only Death Note and Black Butler). I was devastated when he died in Episode 25 (actually had to take a break from watching the show to lick my wounds), and I had to write some sort of tribute/fan-girl adulation thing after "Silence"…ergo, this came about. Kudos to you if you got through the whole thing, and I hope you L-lovers enjoyed it! Please leave a review if you can; I'd love to hear your thoughts!

-Sabre


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